Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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