I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
