All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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