So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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