I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Operation Purity has been aborted
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
