i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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