I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
