so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Congratulations! We have a period
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
