I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We left the knife in your bed.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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