why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Houston, we have a squirter
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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