"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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