White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
