I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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