Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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