Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I FOUND THE LEGS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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