I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
