so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize