He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
