home. puking in laundry basket.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
