By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
