Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
