The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
