pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
