did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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