found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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