Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
