Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
