New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
