i permit you to call me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
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