Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
