After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
