i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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