I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize