i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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