is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize