Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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