therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
