I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
