I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
