I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
