He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
