he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got inside last night via doggy door
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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