I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
