I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
