I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
