i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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