Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
