You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
