Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
