Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
