On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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