He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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