Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
