why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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