her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
