Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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