How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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