What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
